I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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