i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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