Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
