I think my vagina is haunted
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
