i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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