I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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