I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
