If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love having hate sex.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
