i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
