We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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