'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
