It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
