i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
