I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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