so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
