the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
