you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
