I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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