...so i touched it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im holly from the hills drunk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
