Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I smell like Dick and happiness
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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