Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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