Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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