is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
