just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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