Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
