It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
