Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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