i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
