CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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