pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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