Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
