yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
