so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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