think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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