I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
