Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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