I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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