You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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