HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
