i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
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