How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
