I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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