We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize