its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is classic penis vs brain.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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