i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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