4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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