sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
