yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
did i just pee glitter
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize