Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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