I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
