he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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