Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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