I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
