hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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