...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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