like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize