So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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