i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
