I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
