yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize