he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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