I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wish i was in the wii world.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
