You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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