who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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