Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
