I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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