you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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