you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
