I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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